Japanese · Restaurants

Guu Otokomae & Granville Strip

I originally made plans for Beep Beep’s birthday dinner at Minami in Yaletown. Even though Beep Beep wasn’t picking up the tab, she balked at my choice because she was worried it would be too expensive for her friends. I know for a fact most of her friends don’t eat and would only drink. However, since it was her birthday and I could tell she was going to be stubborn, I did as she requested and moved her party to Guu Otokomae in Gastown.

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This Guu location allow for larger parties and you can make reservations through Opentable. The spirit, wine and beer list is more varied than the Robson and Thurlow locations.  I ordered a bottle of rosé to share with Beep Beep and Vanessa. I was happy with the wine for the price ($40). As I predicted, most of the girls didn’t eat and just ordered beer or cocktails.

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Beep Beep and I shared the Chicken Kara-age ($7.90), and two $16 Boss rolls. The exterior of the chicken kara-age was moist and lacked a crunch. I wouldn’t order this again.

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The Boss rolls were awful. I ordered one with salmon and tuna, but the restaurant was out of tuna and replaced it with snapper. The piece of fish was paper-thin. The rice was super sour and fell apart the moment I touched it. For $16 a roll I could have gone to Minami! This was worse than mall sushi.

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I tried a piece of Vanessa’s pork cheek, which was tasty. I did see one person order a stone bowl and that looked delicious. I usually add appropriate music to my blog posts, and this one is no exception. For this piece, I’m going to suggest Nelly – Hot in Herre.

After dinner, Beep Beep wanted to the Granville Strip. We jumped into a taxi and our cab driver asked us where we wanted to go. I wanted to be discreet so I just gave the address of the strip club. He immediately recognized the address and said, “Oh the strip club! Sure thing ladies. I know where that is.” When we arrived, the entire street was filled with the police, ambulance and the fire department. Our driver gave himself a five-dollar tip from Beep Beep’s twenty and said the Granville Strip has the green awning.

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I walked up to the police officer and asked if we could still access one of the businesses. He asked, “Which one?” I replied the store with the green awning. “Oh the Granville Strip? Yeah, go down the street and around the fire truck.” I walked over to the fireman at the end of the street and told him the officer said we could access a store. Again, I was asked which business we wanted to visit. I responded with my standard “green awning” answer and he replied, “Oh, the Granville Strip? Okay. Give me three minutes. We are just getting rid of toxic waste.”

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Finally, we got to the door and I told the doorman that it was my friend’s birthday. The doorman said Beep Beep could get in for free. While we were getting our ID scanned, another customer behind us started chatting with the doorman and said it was his birthday too. The doorman, a man of about 50 years, said, “Hey dude. Why are you talking to me? You’re a dude! Can’t you see I’m talking to these old broads?” I don’t know which I find more offensive. To be called a broad or old. Whatever grandpa, I’m no spring chicken but neither are you. No need to name call. I’m a paying customer.

Grandpa said Beep Beep could get inside for free but we would have to pay $20. Beep Beep’s friend looks young and is really cute. She has huge implants and wears very little clothing. Coincidentlly, she’s also use to getting into clubs for free. She tried to walk in without paying but the doorman shouted at her twice for the $20 bucks. She pouted (I’m pretty sure she heard the first time) but paid. The admission is totally worth it.

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We finally got inside and we ordered a round of drinks. I texted my brother Narc to tell him where I was and showed him the above pictures. Narc told me not to take pictures as it’s not permited.  I texted back that I wasn’t taking pictures of the dancers or customers, just the ambience and music.

In any case, there was one dancer who was awesome. She did this burlesque style dance with feathers and acrobatics on the pole. You need major arm and leg strength to pull those moves off. I can’t even do a push-up. Just to watch her was worth the admission. My friend told me there’s another well-known Indian dancer that just does one show and leaves right after. Seriously, the top acts here are like Cirque du Soleil in Vegas, but with less clothes.

Guu Otokomae Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

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